(Illustration by Victoria Borges)
The curtains are drawn, the porch lights are off, and still, the doorbell sounds. Tiny voices call out: “TRICK OR TREAT!” A quiet panic sets in. You don’t have any candy. Maybe they’ll just leave, you tell yourself, standing deathly still in your living room. A second ring says otherwise. You’ll have to give them something. Lucky for you, we put together an acceptable list of Richmond trick-or-treat alternatives you can have at the ready for those pesky munchkins who won’t take a hint.
Why *wouldn't* you give any of these as Halloween treats? (Illustrations by Victoria Borges)
1. Bike tire patch kit
2. Lensless eyeglasses
3. Parking change
4. A Gender Studies ’zine
5. Friend’s band’s three-track LP on cassette
6. Useless “I support Shockoe Bottom Baseball Stadium” yard sign
7. Locally sourced kale
8. Ironic buttons
9. Backyard chicken eggs
10. Lick-and-stick tattoos
11. Empty growler
12. Home-piercing kit
13. Bootleg copies of Lincoln
14. Comp tickets to the Flying Squirrels
