Illustration by Victoria Borges
While Thanksgiving is usually a joyful holiday that opens the festive season, let’s face it, this pandemic year has been tough, and many of us are just trying to get through it.
I grew up believing that gratitude was bigger than my circumstances, even when those circumstances were trying or devastating. To me, gratitude is as much about my hope for the future as it is my reflection on the past. Despite all of the challenges we have faced in 2020, despite the loss of lives and livelihoods, I believe we can still find things to be grateful for, and to share in that gratitude with family and friends.
As we reassess how we travel, how we gather and how we celebrate traditions, let’s find ways to refocus on what matters most — family and friends.
The Four F’s
Thanksgiving has always been about the Four F’s for us: family, food, fun and a four-day weekend. Fortunately, most of that doesn’t have to change. I love to cook, which I got from my mom, and I’m looking forward to preparing the family feast once again.
Our whole family takes a lot of precautions daily as a matter of habit during this pandemic. Almost all are working from home. We’re very diligent with social distancing, limited interactions and masks. Anyone who has to be outside of the home on a regular basis practices daily health screening. We discuss where people have been the past couple of weeks and what they’ve been doing before we regroup.
So, my sister will come over, our older sons will come home, and our little ones will be running around. My wife, Darcy, and I will enjoy our wine. And I’ll appreciate the comfort of something familiar, something tried and true.
I’m not going to lie, the fact that the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is not happening the way it usually does did get me down a little bit. Having grown up in New York, watching the parade in person and seeing the floats inflated the night before were such rich family traditions when I was younger. After moving to Richmond, I always felt I could reconnect with New York a little bit during Thanksgiving, simply by having the parade on TV in the background as we began cooking the day’s meal.
But in the big scheme of things, truly I have much to be grateful for. I have kept my job and my business afloat. We found a new home for our younger kids to grow up in. We’re taking it one day at a time. We may not be traveling to visit family this year, but we’ll jump on Zoom and FaceTime throughout the day to see grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings and cousins. We will share stories, laugh and smile, reflect on this year that’s almost at an end and express our hope for the year ahead — and that is worth our gratitude.
Less Stress
A pandemic is no time to endure the typical holiday stress, whether that’s the stress of travel or the stress of cooking and hosting Thanksgiving dinner.
Of course, protecting vulnerable loved ones, like older family members and relatives with underlying health conditions, takes on new importance. So if spending Thanksgiving with Grandma and Grandpa is your goal, then take time to plan out how to quarantine before you go, how to travel safely and how to keep them safe when you get there.
From a cooking and hosting perspective, less stress means giving yourself some grace, while adding a little creativity to the mix. It’s OK if dinner’s not perfect: Your feast can include some takeout and some prepared foods, especially this year. What matters most is that you get to spend time with people you love.
This is also a chance to switch up some traditions, in order to preserve others. If you’re spending Thanksgiving in a warm-weather location and you still want to have a gathering on the larger side, consider having the big dinner outside. And if you’re having guests over but staying inside, make the mask-wearing fun by decorating them Thanksgiving-style.
No Thanksgiving Day parade? Make one of your own. Decorate the cars and caravan in your neighborhood. Who knows, you might just bring a smile to that neighbor who can’t travel this year, or another who has lost a loved one and is missing the warmth of family and friends during the holidays.
And finally, this is a chance to give thanks by giving to others. So many people are struggling this year — financially, emotionally and health wise. Whether it’s a neighbor or a stranger, if there is anything you can do to help, even a little bit, please do.
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, full of love and gratitude in the face of everything you have endured this year. Stay safe and be well.
Share Your Holiday Stories
I’d love to hear about your favorite holiday memories and your plans for this year. Tell me what you’re anxious about and what’s got you excited. Share your thoughts by emailing Lifestyle Editor Tharon Giddens, and you may be featured in a future Richmond magazine story.
James Warren has called Richmond home for 15 years. Vice president with brand strategy and consulting firm JMI, he founded the company’s storytelling startup, Share More Stories.
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