Illustration by Victoria Borges
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I know it’s a cliché, but don’t you just feel it in the air? A lightening of the heart, an easier smile, goodwill toward men and women.
Coincidentally, it’s also the holiday season.
The wonderful time of year I’m talking about is the post-election/pre-inauguration time — the sweet spot of American civic life. Nephew Fred in Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” might well have been describing this time when he said, “... a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely ...”
Well, OK, maybe we haven’t arrived here by “one consent” as much as by sheer exhaustion, but it doesn’t diminish the pleasantness of having been released from the grip of political ads, robocalls and the 17-political-posts-a-day Facebook friend. We have been through the nastiest presidential election in modern times — a nonstop ride on a mudslinging, insult-flinging, trash-talking, unmentionable-body-part-grabbing, lie-telling, pundit-shouting merry-go-round. There were baskets of deplorables, bad hombres, nice guy Tim Kaine turning into Interruptus Maximus in the vice presidential debate, violence at campaign rallies and threats against candidates. And all of that nastiness trickled down to us, didn’t it? Clinton supporters labeling Trump supporters as morons and racists. Trump supporters sporting TRUMP THAT B---- bumper stickers (with the word spelled out, of course). Yeah, I was behind one on Old Buckingham Road.
The political climate got so heated by late October that the Richmond Times-Dispatch actually ran this headline: “4th District congressional candidates Wade and McEachin keep debate civil.”
Civility is news now, folks.
Friends, we’ve been through the wringer. And let’s be honest. Some relationships didn’t survive it. Have you checked your friend count on Facebook? Chances are someone unfriended you or you unfriended someone else over political posts.
But now we can take a breath and gather around holiday tables, sitting with friends and family who can’t believe you voted for that lowlife scumbag. But take heart! The awkwardness will force us to talk about anything but the election — Grandpa’s hip replacement, Aunt Marge’s Alaskan cruise, Henry’s oboe solo. You know, the stuff we should be talking about.
There has been much handwringing about how we move on, how we stitch back together relationships that have been frayed over the last, oh, 23 years or so of this election. Here are a few ideas:
Scrape off the bumper stickers. It starts here, people. It’s over. Let it go now. This will be difficult for the rabid partisans, but a bumper sticker is a poke in the eye and an invitation for nastiness being shouted through your window. Cover that bad boy with an I LOVE BACON sticker so we can agree and be friends.
Unplug. The next few months on the news and social media are going to be a bloodbath. Be kind to yourself and turn it off. All the death, destruction, political nastiness and cat videos will be there when you return.
Connect in some meaningful way. Someone you love voted for someone you hate. There is someone I love very much who voted the opposite of what I did. I am sure she thinks my vote was as insane as I think hers was. But she refurbishes dollhouses, beautifully and thoughtfully appointing them with the most amazing detail. She makes teeny weeny rugs and baskets of bread and fruit by hand. She has a keen eye for antiques and lovingly maintains a beautiful butterfly garden. All of these admirable qualities offer opportunities for a meaningful connection so that I never have to bring up the fact that she voted for that ... that ... grrrrr.
Remember that most of us are not liberals fleeing to Canada or alt-righters who are ready to take up arms. Most of us are reasonable people somewhere in the middle who were friends, neighbors and relatives before all of this. And we have to be that again.
So in this small space of calm between the election and the inauguration, we have a decision to make about how we move forward with each other. The choice is ours. Do we use this time to heal? Or to reload?
