As fashion director on TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta,” Monte Durham has been assisting brides with achieving the perfect look for nearly a decade. Equipped with more than 25 years of wedding industry experience, a showroom of endless style possibilities and the clever wit of a Southern gentleman, Durham and his best friend and owner of Bridals by Lori, Lori Allen, help make fashion dreams a reality, even if sometimes that means saying “no” to the dress. The Alexandria resident and West Virginia native has also launched an eponymous line of hair care products and is currently in the process of opening the first MONTE salon, expected to debut in the spring of 2020 in Alexandria.
Monte Durham (Photo courtesy Monte Durham)
We caught up with Durham via phone just after he wrapped season 11 of “Say Yes to the Dress.” He shares what brought him to TV, his three F's for making sure a dress is a perfect match, and his thoughts about on-trend and timeless styles. Hear more from Durham this Sunday, Aug. 18, at the Richmond Wedding Experience at the Greater Richmond Convention Center.
Richmond magazine: As you approach a milestone 10 years on “Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta,” how did you get involved with the show to begin with?
Monte Durham: I used to be a trunk show representative. I represented wedding gowns, and I would go down to Lori’s store; she was our top client. I was down there often, and we became fast friends — that was 18 years ago, wow.
[When] her daughter got married, nine years ago, I believe, and the designer I was working for, I suggested that maybe we make this gown for Mollie, which we did with a 17-foot train, crazy, but it aired on [We TV’s] "Platinum Weddings." … TLC saw it, and they reached out to Lori because she has a huge store, 24,000 square feet, so they reached out to her about a show. … Lori called me and said, “Come down.” I had the [previous] hair salon [and other projects], and I was like, “No, I’m not interested, I’m good, but thank you,” and she goes, “Come on.” I really didn’t want to do it. I mean, I was happy where I was, and she said, “Just come on down, we’ll do it and it’ll be an experience, and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but we can just say, ‘Hey, we tried it.’ ” And I said OK, and that’s what I did, and that was nine years ago.
RM: Well, apparently it worked out.
Durham: Yeah, I tell people all the time I had a bucket list that I didn’t even know was a bucket list. I’ve done things that I just never even put on a bucket list … like covering the royal wedding when Kate Middleton got married. I was in London outside the Abbey, and the Archbishop of Canterbury [held a] private audience, which was very important to me; cocktail parties on Fifth Avenue with Oprah Winfrey; going to the [Kentucky] Derby … I’ve done some incredible things, I am very pleased, and of course we do “Say Yes to the Prom,” which is really one of the highlights of the things that we do, giving back to the communities for deserving students.
RM: “Say Yes to the Prom” provides dresses and suits to students who wouldn’t be able to go otherwise?
Durham: Exactly. These students are community leaders. They do leaderships in their school and mentor programs, and they’re economically at a disadvantage, but they are top of their classes in most cases and just would not be able to afford a prom look or to go to prom. So we take the dress fit for them. It’s usually a five-city tour. Last year we finished off with over 2,000 students, I think. The gowns then continue to go on in service across the U.S. to other deserving and needing students, and we also do the guys as you know, so that’s kind of cool.
RM: When it comes to matching that perfect dress with the right bride, what are the first things you do to accomplish that?
Durham: Everybody always kind of tells it like, you’ve gotta get your dress, it sets the tone of the wedding. Actually, it doesn’t. Your location sets the tone, because what you’re going to wear to a beach, what you’re going to wear to a mountain, what you’re going to wear to a formal cathedral wedding, those gowns are all totally different.
So, when you tell me your location, then I start figuring out what’s going to be best, and I always say we look at the three F's. I want to look at the fit of the gown; I want to look at the fabric on the gown; if you’re married in a cathedral, maybe silk or satin; and beach, maybe organza or chiffon, and then I want to look at the fashion of the gown. So are you going to be fashion-forward, or do you want to be one of those brides that say, “When I look back in 20 years, I still want to love my dress”?
The more exaggerated, the more fashion you get, the stronger the impact you’ll make, but it may not last the time of longevity style-wise. So it’s like the ’80s, those big puffy sleeves, the big puffy veils: You look back at those brides, and you can date them. Whereas, let’s say, let’s look at Patricia Nixon in, I think it was '71 or '72 when she got married at the White House, that beautiful lace Priscilla gown with no beading, no exaggeration on anything, and you look at it today, and girls would wear it, so that’s kind of the format I start with, and then, of course, you know budget plays into that.
RM: You mention timeless looks, and brides tend to look for inspiration online and in magazines for on-trend looks, but is that necessarily what they should be doing?
Durham: A lot of brides now are looking at their mother’s gowns, which are ’80s, and they’re like, “My God, why would I listen to you? Look at what you wore,” and the answer to that is simply that was what was in vogue then. There are things that are in vogue now for brides. The mermaid [look] we’re seeing, that's passé a little bit, the mermaid’s going away. We’re seeing A-lines come back into vogue. We’re seeing soft fabrics, less beading; this all started before Meghan Markle, by the way, and we’re seeing coverage coming back, and we’re seeing a little more romantic look, and the Bohemian’s still out there on a strong influence.
RM: At some point, you’ve definitely had a nightmare bride on the show, so how do you deal with that?
Durham: There’s a couple things: They may very well be disappointed in what their budget is affording them, and they may be very frustrated [that] the look [they thought would be] theirs is not their look, and you know it’s hard to change a perception. So, if you perceive you’re gonna look great in this dress, you come in try it on, and it looks bad, then you’re just lost. You’re like, “No, I’ve waited my whole life, this is the dress I want,” and it gets real. …
So the easiest way, really, is to try to get to the root of where the problem is at. If it’s budget, we cannot help you with that, that’s something that you set. However, if it’s a fit or if it’s a style factor, we can show you a countless number of dresses. While this one may look good on you, we may have one that looks better, so why don’t we try that route? And that usually kind of centers it a little bit. We want everybody to leave happy, and you want everybody to just have a great experience.
RM: What’s your favorite part of being on the show?
Durham: Working with my best friend, I mean, how fun is that? I get to say whatever I want, do whatever I want. You learn very quickly to be very good friends with the cameraman, because I’ll tell you, it’s all about those [camera] angles that makes a difference in how you look.
RM: What can attendees expect to hear during your talk at the Richmond Wedding Experience?
Durham: You’ll hear me hit on trends and popular styles, whether that be in gowns, place settings, flowers, lighting, music and makeup. So I’m gonna cover all that, and we’ll do a question-and-answer and, more importantly, you’re gonna get a selfie or an autograph, so line up, right? How fun is that gonna be?
RM: Anything else you’d like to say?
Durham: I think the biggest thing is congratulations, best wishes and cheers to all the couples out there and the best of luck in finding the dress, suit, garment, whatever you’re going to wear for your wedding day, but let’s make it happen. Get out there and just make it happen.
Monte Durham will be at the Richmond Wedding Experience Sunday, Aug. 18. The event runs from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., and tickets are $15 ($10 after 1 p.m.). Greater Richmond Convention Center, 403 N. Third St.
