Ashe with his family. His sister, Loretta Ashe Harris (center), is in the pink suit. (Photo courtesy Loretta Ashe Harris)
The brother. The uncle. Those are sides of Arthur Jr. that many people don’t know — all the postcards he and Jeanne sent my children, David Jr. and La Chandra, the birthday calls made from wherever he was.
He never forgot people or family. Arthur was just friendly. He wouldn’t turn down an autograph; he would talk to you while some athletes would look the other way.
Arthur and I did not grow up under the same roof, but it was like we were raised together. We had two different moms but the same dad. When I was in Gum Spring, Arthur was off doing his thing — at UCLA and then in the Army. Coming home to Gum Spring was like a resort to him. It didn’t matter what he rode in. You could pick him up in a truck. That’s what I liked about him.
Every time he visited, he would ask what kind of trouble I was getting into. Like him, I was never getting into any trouble, especially under our father’s watchful eye.
When I was 15, I thought I was the girl at Goochland High School because Arthur had given me his burgundy Mustang. It had a black interior, and I have a picture of me standing with the door open as I was getting ready to take myself to the prom in it.
Despite traveling the world and moving to New York City, Arthur always kept in touch and made trips home — he and I would go fishing, he would go hunting with my dad. When he found out my husband, David, was going to serve in the Air Force in Germany while I had a little baby at home, Arthur Jr. gave me his credit card to use so that I could call David more often. Arthur just had the natural gift of fathering.
Some of my favorite memories are family trips we took to be with Arthur at Doral Estates in Miami — with all six of his nieces and nephews. It was his time to catch up with everyone, and we with him. I was the nanny, and Jeanne, his wife, would cook all the meals.
I remember one summer trip, before Jeanne and Arthur had their daughter, Camera, when he chose the movie for the entire family to see — the kids were 8 and up. Arthur loved going to the movies, so we loaded up the station wagon, and off we went. When the swear words started during the comedy, it sunk in that he had inadvertently taken everyone to an R-rated film.
Another summer, we celebrated his 40th birthday on July 10. “You know, I never had a birthday party with the family,” he told us, and that was true because he was away summers at tennis camps. So that year, we had a birthday party and birthday spanks for him.
My son and daughter also would visit Arthur and Jeanne in New York, and La Chandra would babysit Camera. She told me about all the presents Camera got at Christmas because people loved Arthur, and how Arthur would let Camera select several gifts and the rest they would take to children’s hospital wards.
The saddest moment I had with him over the phone is when he was preparing his speech to tell the world that he had AIDS, and he was wondering what the world would say, how they would treat him. I told him it would be OK, and it was. He was bombarded with even more affection.
Since 1993, my husband and I have been attending Arthur Ashe Kids’ Day at Flushing Meadows, the park in New York City that’s the site of the U.S. Open. I took my children, David and La Chandra, and children from all over would come for a day with all the famous tennis players and singers. This year, I took two of my grandchildren — Kaila, who is 21, and Karah, who is 11. “Arthur,” I said to him, “they are still doing it, they are still working it for you.”
At the base of his monument, there is the scripture Hebrews 12:1:
“Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”
The message is: I’m cheering you on. I’ve done what I had to do down there, but now I need you to keep it going.
As the family, we are carrying on as his witnesses.
I still talk with Arthur. Anytime that I’m asked to do a speech or receive something in his honor, I say, “Arthur, what am I going to share, what am I going to say?” It eventually comes.
It all went back to family with him. No matter where he was, he kept in touch, was part of our lives, and we a part of his.
And we still are.
—As told to Susan Winiecki on Oct. 26, 2018
Loretta Ashe Harris, mother of two and grandmother of three, is retired from SunTrust Bank and co-owner of Liquid Inc. with her husband, David Harris Sr.
