Illustration by Wenjia Tang
I remember waking up on Christmas morning when I was 4 or 5 years old and hurrying down the stairs of our townhouse in Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn. I took in the countless gifts under the enormous tree, and then I noticed a train track and the outlines of a locomotive and a caboose peeking through. It was a train set, and my fantasy come true. I remember putting the model train together with my father, listening to the whistle as it ran along the track, smelling the artificial smoke and watching the dim yellow light on the front of the locomotive.
I also remember the scent of alcohol on my dad’s breath growing stronger as the day continued. And finally, I remember hearing the start of an argument between my parents, followed by shouting and the crunch of plastic breaking under the weight of my father’s feet. In his drunken rage, my dad stomped all over my train set, smashing it to bits. I tried to put it back together by myself as my mom cried, my sister watched sympathetically and my father repeatedly muttered, “I’m sorry, Jimmy.”
My lifelong desire to be around trains was born in that moment, but for the next 25 years, I kept it largely to myself. Perhaps I was afraid to revisit this childhood trauma, but things started to change when my wife (then girlfriend) and I spent our first Christmas together in Virginia and she surprised me with a model train set. In one simple act, she started to erase a 30-year-old sadness and showed me how well she knew me.
More recently, I’ve been able to share my passion for trains with our youngest son, Evan. In fact, one could say that his affection for trains rekindled my own.
For example, in 2015 I started working in Manchester, and to my great joy I realized the Richmond Railroad Museum was right next door. We took Evan to the museum that year for his birthday. I held him up as we watched all the trains run around the model train room. One of the volunteers, a former conductor, gave Evan a few train pins for his hat, and later that day we had a Thomas the Tank Engine-themed birthday party. Evan’s also been mildly obsessed with “The Polar Express” book for years, and by now he knows most of the words by heart. One day it was too cold to play outside, so we pulled all the chairs away from the dining room table and lined them up in a row, pretending they were the locomotive and cars of a long passenger train. We had so much fun pretending and taking turns as the conductor.
In the fall of 2016, I rode Amtrak for the first time in years, heading to New York for a conference. When I returned home, my family greeted me as the train pulled into Staples Mill Station. And there was Evan, jumping and waving at me from the platform. For Christmas that year, we celebrated his birthday with our first HO scale model train set purchase. I think I was more excited than he was.
It was lovely to enjoy this both as a father and through the eyes of a child, without the fear I had experienced so many years ago.
As we’ve built the collection, Evan’s proven to be a great steward of his trains. He displays a care for his locomotives and tracks well beyond his years. He sets it up once or twice a month, and we just watch and smile as he radiates joy with every passing of the train around the track.
This past December, we experienced our first real train ride together aboard the Santa Express, on the Buckingham Branch Railroad in Dillwyn. At first, we could only get two tickets, and my wife — once again, she really gets me — said, “You guys go.” However, at the last minute we were able to get two extra tickets, and we all boarded the train together. When the train started to move, Evan could not contain his astonishment. He squealed and looked around wide-eyed, grinning ear to ear. “We’re moving!” he exclaimed repeatedly. And for most of the next 40 minutes, he soaked it all up — naming nearly every part of the inside of the train, remarking on the station buildings, playing with the seats and the window shades. This was one of our most magical moments yet.
My relationship with trains started out of difficult circumstances, but it has turned into something positive during my time in Richmond, and I am grateful I can share this special bond with Evan. As I think back to Buckingham Branch, I picture him gazing contentedly out the window, forging a lifelong bond with trains. The pain from my childhood is almost all gone, and my heart is full.
James Warren has called Richmond home for 14 years. He’s vice president with JMI and founded the company’s storytelling startup, Share More Stories.
