Illustration by Em Roberts
When planning their August 2021 wedding, Kamala Payne and Adrian Arango knew one decision was simple: requiring COVID-19 vaccines for everyone in attendance.
Their reasons were varied. They live in a largely retired community and expected an older crowd at their wedding. Many of Arango’s family members and friends live overseas, and while most were ultimately unable to attend due to travel restrictions, the couple was prepared to receive guests who traveled internationally.
But above all, Payne worried about her 94-year-old grandmother.
“I didn’t want to put her at risk,” Payne says. “I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself. So we decided everyone would have to be vaccinated, and we put that on the invitation.”
The Arangos are hardly alone. While 2020 was the year of wedding cancellations and postponements, many couples in 2021 and into 2022 have been turning to vaccine requirements.
Colleen Cook, a wedding planner and the owner of CCS Events, has been organizing weddings under COVID-19 guidelines since Virginia lifted its gathering restrictions in July 2021. She’s helped couples implement a variety of safety protocols, from masks and livestreamed events to creative approaches such as a drive-in wedding where the bride walked down an aisle surrounded by cars filled with loved ones.
Cook says protocols change from one wedding to the next, with some couples also requiring negative test results or conducting temperature checks at the door. Since vaccines became widely available, she says approximately 70% of her clients have required them for attendance. And while she’s yet to work with a venue that requires vaccines, some ask couples to submit a final guest list with contact information for every attendee in case of an outbreak requiring contact tracing.
“Every weekend, we have a different set of rules,” Cook says, “based on the venue, the bride and groom’s personal feelings, and the current mandates.”
With so many changing variables, as well as reports of breakthrough infections, many might wonder if a vaccine requirement is an effective step. Dr. Michael Stevens, the interim hospital epidemiologist for VCU Health and associate chair of VCU’s Division of Infectious Diseases, argues that it is.
“Where there’s a lot of [infection] activity, it makes sense to take precautions to prevent spread at a wedding,” he says. “I’m sure nobody wants their special event to be marred by the idea that people were hurt.”
Stevens says vaccines radically reduce infections. However, he adds, couples shouldn’t assume that vaccine requirements will eliminate all risk. The delta variant showed that breakthrough infections are possible, and there may be attendees who cannot be vaccinated or who don’t respond to vaccines. For those reasons, Stevens says, it’s also important to follow other CDC guidelines, such as wearing masks indoors.
While Stevens — and many couples — believe a vaccine requirement is a worthwhile step, wedding guests don’t always agree. That’s where a wedding planner can help. Lindsay Force, an event management specialist with The Hive Wedding Collective, helps couples determine their boundaries and then decide on the best path forward.
“I ask couples to think about the fallout [of a vaccine requirement] and if it’s worth it,” she says. “If it is, that’s OK. If it isn’t, then let’s try to think of a different way to approach it.”
Clear yet inviting communication is crucial when alerting guests to a requirement. Cook recommends “flowery” language over a message suggesting that certain attendees aren’t welcome.
“[I tell couples] to say, ‘Because we love and care about you,’ or, ‘Because we want to party safely with you, we’re requesting the following,’ ” Cook says. “You’re not saying, ‘Because you’re not vaxxed, you’re a jerk.’ ”
Couples often rely on the honor system when confirming vaccination status. Some might include a message on the RSVP card asking attendees about their vaccination status and plans and then follow up separately for a conversation.
For her wedding, Payne texted her guests to confirm their status — a process she says took 15 minutes. A few people backed out because they hadn’t read the invitation or didn’t plan to get vaccinated, but there were no hard feelings. And her guests were able to relax and enjoy the day.
“I think it made people more comfortable at the reception because they knew everyone was vaccinated,” she says.
