Illustration by Rachel Maves
A first car is like a first love — it can be flawed, but it’s perfect for the moment. You’ll eventually outgrow it, but you will never forget your time together.
My first vehicle was a blue 1987 Jeep Cherokee. I learned to drive when I was 15, going out with my dad for Sunday afternoon lessons. After mastering the empty high school parking lot, we moved on to a new subdivision with vacant lots and freshly paved roads. Soon, I would take on small town roads, then big city highways. The week I turned 16, I rushed to the DMV to get my driver’s license. I couldn’t wait for my parents to hand over the keys to freedom.
That old Jeep holds so many memories — riding around with my teammates before volleyball practice, driving to my first job at J. Crew, meeting friends on Friday nights after the football game. We lived near the beach, and nothing felt better than blasting my Alanis Morissette mixtape and manually cranking down the windows to let in the salty breeze.
I drove everywhere with no cell phone, GPS, backup camera or tracking apps such as Life360 — hard to imagine today. My son Anders is 15, and we’re navigating a whole new world together. While technology makes driving easier, it also makes driver’s education more important and more demanding. Virginia’s Graduated Driver Licensing program is especially rigorous, with a long list of requirements and restrictions.
The program works a bit differently than in my teenage years: Teens must be 15 years and 6 months to receive their permit, and 16 and 3 months for their standard driver’s license, though there are some restrictions until age 18.
Two Henrico County moms, Ashley Stalker and Jennifer Lamb, are steering parents and teenagers through the process with their new business, Ready to Drive RVA. After teaching their own children to drive, they’re paving the way for others.
“We want to provide everything parents need in one place and offer teens the best in-car driver’s education experience out there,” Lamb says.
The state of Virginia requires drivers under 18 to complete 14 periods of formal behind-the-wheel instruction, totaling 700 minutes. Teens may complete their education from a private company like Ready to Drive RVA or through their high school driver’s ed program. Before enrolling, they must pass the written test at the DMV to earn their permit and log 45 hours of supervised driving. Those supervised driving hours are a chance for parents and kids to work together on the basics.
“The parent really is the best first teacher,” Stalker says. “Driving between ages 16 and 19 is the most dangerous time. The more experience the kids get, the better off they are.”
Teaching your teenager the rules of the road can be nerve-racking, but Stalker and Lamb share practical tips, from staying calm to leading by example.
“Kids are always watching and observing, so parents need to model good driving,” Lamb says. “Any time you take your eyes off the road or your hands off the wheel, you’re distracted.”
They also recommend a strategy called commentary driving. “Your teen should be talking to you the whole time they’re behind the wheel,” Lamb says. “Encourage them to share what they’re thinking — ‘There’s a stop sign ahead, so I’m going to take my foot off the gas.’”
Stalker adds that new drivers tend to get tunnel vision, so commentary driving can prompt them to look 10 to 20 seconds ahead to identify hazards and react.
“Teaching your child to drive is a lot like being an air traffic controller,” Stalker says. “You’re there to help, but they’re the pilot, the one making decisions. That’s what will empower them and build their confidence.”
Once teens complete the requirements for getting their driver’s license, they must abide by state and local curfew laws, wireless device restrictions and passenger limits. For example, a new driver under the age of 18 may only have one passenger in their car, other than an adult or family member. After one year, they may increase to three passengers, though some exceptions apply.
AAA reports the risk of a fatal accident for a 16- or 17-year-old increases by 44% when carrying one passenger under 21, doubles when carrying two passengers younger than 21, and quadruples when carrying three or more passengers under 21.
These statistics put Virginia’s laws into perspective. First and foremost, I want my son to be safe and diligent. But I also want him to embrace the experience. Fewer teens are pursuing a driver’s license, which could remove opportunities for in-person social interaction. Only 1 in 4 16-year-olds in the United States was driving in 2023 versus 1 in 3 in 2003, according to the Federal Highway Administration.
Driving is a lifelong skill and a rite of passage. I hope Anders takes the path to independence and relishes the freedom of the open road — even if I am tracking his every move.
6 Steps to Driving in Virginia
- Pass knowledge test at DMV at age 15 and 6 months.
- Complete online or classroom driver education course.
- Log 45 hours of supervised driving practice.
- Complete 14 periods of behind-the-wheel instruction.
- Pass road skills test to earn certificate.
- Get license at DMV at 16 and 3 months.
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