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Shannon K. often juggles helping her teenage son with his homework and taking care of her father-in-law, who is 93 and living with advanced Parkinson’s disease. Her 88-year-old mother-in-law also lives with the family.
A Richmond-area parent who didn’t give her full name because she is speaking candidly about her family, Shannon is part of the sandwich generation, people in the middle of two generations who care for both their older relatives and their own families.
“Caregiving for anyone has its challenges, but when we talk about the sandwich generation, there are some additional challenges they may face,” says Rachel Lawson, senior program manager for the Greater Richmond Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. “Balancing the tasks and needs between the generations, managing a caregiving role while still working, caregiver burnout and other challenges.”
Shannon admits that being a caregiver has affected her life. “It does get to the point that I have to stop and remind myself how lucky we are,” she says. “However, I do have my moments where I have to vent to others in similar situations, because if you don’t live it, you don’t know it.”
Caregiving can strain relationships and have an impact on the entire family. “Caregiver burnout is real, and many caregivers struggle with it every day,” Lawson says. She suggests that caregivers practice self-care, seek out support and maintain communication. “It can be hard to take the first step to get support or even ask for help, but it’s important that the caregiver does so to best help them.”
Beyond the personal strain, caregivers are typically responsible for complex legal, medical and financial processes that Lawson says are often best handled with professional help.
“There are agencies who are there to assist families with completing these complex situations,” she says. “For Medicare, contact a local insurance agency or a broker who knows all about Medicare plans. For any kind of legal documents, such as estate planning, it is recommended that you contact an elder law attorney to help with those processes.”
Caregivers can also benefit from support available through the Virginia Association of Area Agencies on Aging, AARP or the National Institute on Aging. Other resources include AARP Family Caregiving, the National Alliance for Caregiving and the Caregiver Action Network.
Individuals caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can contact the Alzheimer’s Association (800-272-3900) or use the online Community Resource Finder to locate dementia care resources. Adult day programs, in-home assistance and meal delivery are just a few of the services that can help caregivers manage daily tasks.
“Don’t go it alone,” says Dee Caras, a caregiver support specialist at Richmond’s Senior Connections. “Begin having open discussions with family about elder care plans and preferences and have them often. Know it is just as important to be a good care receiver as it is a good caregiver — meaning make this role easier for those trying to assist.”
Shannon stresses that the most important thing is carving out personal time. “This can be the absolute hardest one to do, but it is so important,” she says. “Even just taking a few minutes to escape and have those few minutes to yourself is truly beneficial.”
