Much has changed in Richmond in the decades since I grew up. The Richmond Braves became the Squirrels. The Mosque turned into Altria Theater. Bill’s Barbecue is a limeade-scented memory. I marvel almost daily at how much has changed in my town since I was a kid. As a parent, especially, I can’t help but notice how different my kids’ experience is compared with my own childhood in the halcyon, platform-shoe-laden 1990s. While some things, such as Maymont and Legendary Santa, seem, thankfully, here for the long haul, so much else about life with kids in 2019 feels like a brave new world. So, in no particular order, here are some ways parenting in Richmond has changed.
The Holidays
Then: For kids in the ’90s, the holidays in Richmond meant a long, mostly unstructured winter break, punctuated with a couple of special outings, either to the James Center to see twinkly deer or to watch Clara dance with mice at Richmond Ballet’s “The Nutcracker.” On Christmas Day, our parents would dress us in department-store-purchased plaid, snap a few photos in front of the tree and call it a day.
Now: Nearly every minute of the upcoming holiday season is scheduled and accounted for by mid-September. Whether it’s a professional cookie-making class, elaborate tree-farm trips or scenic photo shoots in the country with a very convincing and equally expensive Santa, there is always some activity or tradition to check off the list. And if it’s not extensively documented on social media, it basically didn’t happen.
Preschool
Then: Preschool in the ’90s meant church basements with music, playground time and ice pop-stick arts and crafts. Everyone carpooled. Anyone could drop off or pick up a kid as long as they had a paper plate in their window with a child’s name on it.
Now: Richmond preschools are as regimented and seriously intentioned as Ivy League colleges. If anyone is going to pick up your child other than the parent, they will need to provide several forms of identification, as well as an FBI-level background check. Parent-teacher conferences for 3-year-olds are treated with the same gravity as a college admissions interview.
Free Time
Then: School holidays and summers in the ’90s were made of long, lazy, unstructured days of play in the backyard, or at the pool or river. Rainy days after the age of 12 were spent at a mall, where we burned through all of our babysitting money at the arcade or Spencer’s, later scrounging for quarters to buy a slice of food court Sbarro pizza.
Now: Today, there are dozens, if not hundreds of holiday and summer camp options, everything from dance to yoga to STEM. By the time my children could walk, I was asked what I was planning to do with them over break, and the ’90s answer of “play in the backyard” is now met with blank, confused stares.
Errands
Then: Mom piled all of us kids into the minivan and carted us all over town. If we needed clothes, we headed to J.C. Penney. Shoes? There was Saxon. Cotillion gloves? Buttons & Bows (which closed in March after operating for more than three decades). And for groceries, it was always Ukrop’s. We’d beg for White House rolls and sneak off to the bakery counter and stare longingly until a kind worker handed us a rainbow cookie.
Now: There is no reason to ever take your child inside a physical store. Amazon will deliver everything from diapers to Play-Doh to your doorstep, often in two hours or less. Groceries can be bought online and picked up without unbuckling a single car seat. The parenting gods have delivered unto us a beautiful world.
Cool Places to Take Kids
Then: Kid-friendly in Richmond was limited to parks, playgrounds and restaurants with crayons on the table and all-you-can eat buffets.
Now: There are breweries with playgrounds. Between Lickinghole, Fine Creek and Hardywood West Creek, parents today don’t even have to leave the suburbs to find a cool, kid-friendly spot to hang. But if they do venture into the city, there are plenty of places, from coffee shops with play spaces to restaurants that are not only family-friendly but actually good.
Birthday Parties
Then: Occasionally, parents held their kids’ parties at the Science Museum of Virginia or the Children’s Museum of Richmond. But such extravaganzas were rare. More often, celebrations were held in backyards or basements, with takeout pizza, a Ukrop’s sheet cake and some balloons.
Now: In 2019, birthday parties are first and foremost themed, and second, so carefully planned and executed that they make a royal wedding look like a backyard potluck. If there isn’t a children’s musician, there had better be a princess, a magician or animals, or they’d better take place at a venue designed to let sugar-fueled children literally bounce off the walls.
Despite some challenges, overall, life with kids in Richmond is looking up. While it pains me that my children will never experience a trip to Ukrop’s or a slice of banana cream pie at Bill’s Barbecue, modern conveniences and shortcuts help cushion those losses.
Elizabeth Becker is a writer, registered nurse and mom of two. Read more about her life and other parenting epiphanies at lifeinacoffeespoon.com.
