Illustration by Carson McNamara
A year ago, spring break plans fizzled or imploded in the face of a new and terrifying global pandemic. Trips to Florida theme parks were canceled, and tropical sojourns were put on hold. Even an excursion to Grandma’s house a few states over was impossible due to a wide-ranging set of restrictions and fears. As parents, we put on a brave face and told our kids that next year, life would be different. Next year, by spring break, we would be back to “normal.”
But now, more than a year into the brave new post-COVID-19 world, the truth is, we are still a million miles from normal. There are vaccines, and with them come glimmers of light and hope, but we are by no means clear of the tunnel. The good news is that there are endless options for spring break that are only a car ride away. You could stand in a line with thousands of germy strangers in Orlando, or you could embrace all of the wonderfully weird destinations in our own Virginia backyard.
World’s Oldest Edible Ham
Smithfield
A lot of children go to the beach or theme parks for spring break. And a lot of those kids ride roller coasters or swim in the hotel pool or do any number of boring, mainstream activities. But none of those children can go back to school after break and tell their class that they have seen the world’s oldest edible ham. Bring the family to the historic Isle of Wight County Museum and give your kids a piece of porcine history. As a bonus, the museum is also home to the world’s oldest peanut, so really, it’s two amazing artifacts for the price of one.
Concrete ships at Kiptopeke State Park (Photo by Chad Williams courtesy Visit Virginia)
Concrete Ships
Kiptopeke State Park, Cape Charles
There was a time, not so long ago, when a person could go on a cruise ship without a care in the world. There were all-you-can-eat shrimp towers and kids’ zones and a guy named Steve who called himself the “fun fleet.” Sadly, those days now seem like a distant memory. However, while you may not be able to go on a ship and drink pina coladas on the pool deck, you can still stand on the Eastern Shore and stare at nine decaying WW II-era concrete ships sunk off in the distance. Which, with the right positive “this, too, shall pass” mentality, is almost just as good.
Civil War Battlefields
It is a rite of passage that if you grow up in or around Richmond, you will at some point in your childhood spend a family vacation wandering around dusty, empty Civil War battlefields wishing you were at a theme park instead. If your kids haven’t yet experienced that unique Virginia “magic,” spring break 2021 is the perfect time to start. There is no easier way to social distance than in the middle of a barren, muddy expanse of land. And our state has no shortage of barren, muddy expanses of land on which to bore your children senseless with Civil War history lessons.
Mount Trashmore
Virginia Beach
In Virginia, there is a lot of talk about the state’s natural beauty, but one would be remiss to list Virginia’s environmental assets without a mention of Mount Trashmore, a landfill-turned-park outside of Virginia Beach. Show your kids that even a 640,000-ton pile of garbage has the potential to be transformed into something beautiful.
Photo courtesy Visit Virginia
Dinosaur Kingdom II
Natural Bridge
Your kids might try to tell you they would much rather see dinosaur fossils at the American Museum of Natural History in New York or check out one of the “Jurassic Park” rides at the Universal Orlando Resort in Florida. But that’s only because they have never seen an animatronic Abraham Lincoln lasso a pteranodon at this bizarre but beloved roadside attraction. Check for their spring hours on Facebook.
However you and your family choose to spend spring break 2021, here’s to the deep and profound hope that by spring break 2022, we will all be standing in hourlong lines at an overpriced theme park or jammed next to some sweaty stranger on an airplane. And we will never again take a second of it for granted.
Elizabeth Becker is a writer, a registered nurse and a mom of three. Read more about her life and other parenting epiphanies at lifeinacoffeespoon.com.
