Illustration by Sam Gray
Courtship in the early 19th century was bound by strict social convention. A single woman was forbidden to initiate conversation with a gentleman without a formal introduction. Chaperones ensured that a couple was never alone until they were engaged. It was taboo to speak of private affairs or feelings. Physical contact was forbidden. The rules of polite society left lovebirds with no way to express their affections. Budding relationships called for a secret language. So, Victorians looking for love devised a new way to communicate: They said it with flowers.
During the reign of Queen Victoria, sending flowers to declare unspoken messages of love was called floriography, or the “language of flowers.” Different flowers held different meanings based on their color and nature. Mimosa, whose leaves fold up when touched, represented chastity. A single daffodil delivered bad luck, while a bouquet of daffodils brought good luck. Forget-me-nots were given to a friend who was moving away. Sage stood for wisdom. Red roses stood for romantic love, yellow roses represented friendship, and white roses symbolized innocence.
These coded messages were conveyed through the exchange of small, handheld flower arrangements called tussie-mussies. “Tussie” came from the Middle English “tusmose,” meaning bunch of flowers. “Mussie” referred to the damp moss that was wrapped around a bouquet to keep it from wilting.
The practice of holding or wearing small bouquets of fragrant herbs and flowers dates back to medieval times, when it was believed that their perfume offered protection against the foul odors that were thought to cause diseases such as the black plague that was spreading across Europe.
One needed to know the meaning of each of the flowers in a tussie-mussie, as well as the significance of their arrangement, to accurately decode its message. Dictionaries, like “Le Langage des Fleurs,” published in Paris in 1819, offered translations. Learning the meaning behind each bloom became a popular hobby and an appropriate pastime for young ladies of the privileged class. There was even a parlor game in which blindfolded party guests picked a flower from a vase. The chosen bloom was meant to tell players something about their future love.
A woman wore a tussie-mussie as a brooch or a ring in her hair or fastened at her waist, often displayed in a decorative “posy” holder. But she signaled her response by the way she held it in her hand. Pressed close to the heart indicated acceptance. Dangled low on the side signified disinterest. Flowers held in the right hand meant “yes.” Flowers held in left hand meant “no.” Flowers presented upside down meant the opposite of flowers delivered right side up. Often another tussie-mussie was offered in reply.
At the same time that floriography came into fashion in Victorian society, the centuries-old practice of marrying for economic gain or social status began to fall out of fashion. For the first time in the history of romance, couples were marrying for love. With the help of a handful of flowers, relationships blossomed.
